Meandering Thoughts: Day 6 - What The...

Just came across a screenshot of an InShorts piece on how Ivanka Trump is being hailed for "her nod towards sustainable fashion" because, drumroll please, she repeated a dress she'd already worn in public last year. Gasp.

This piece troubled me on so many levels:
1. Icebergs are melting, bushfires are raging, climate change is making itself felt every other day with unseasonal rains, more and more oil spills are coming to light - this is the reality of our world. The clothing industry is one of the biggest contributors of pollution in terms of wastage of copious amounts of water and fast fashion being the flavour of the moment. Meanwhile, the champion of the cause is the daughter of a callous, uber-rich capitalist only because she decided to reuse one outfit. Is the bar really that low when you're rich / powerful / famous? Shouldn't there be an additional responsibility on public figures to lead by example? That too the seemingly progressive daughter the POTUS!

2. Why is there a constant pressure on women in the public eye to always be seen in new outfits, and why repeating even one dress  is so rare that it qualifies as national news? Men in equivalent professions do not seem to live by this compulsion. Living in the age of social media, I'm personally guilty too, of not making full use of the clothes and accessories I have before buying new ones. We need to break out of this vicious cycle and the media really can help the common masses change this outlook, which brings me to my last point...

3. Being an extremely easy format to consume news, InShorts acts as a quick access to current affairs for a large majority of the Indian society who are too busy or too lazy to read the long-form newspaper. With the position of power it has assumed rather swiftly since its inception, InShorts should also realise that it has the ability to focus its readers' attention on the crux of the story (however it may choose to define it), and thereby mould their opinions in a certain direction. And half-baked information in this world of post-truth can be disastrous. This bit is actually more applicable to the media in its entirety, but that's a rant for another day

Meandering Thoughts: Day 5 - Much 'Tattoo' About Nothing

Getting inked is never an easy decision (unless, of course, your tattoo is the tramp stamp variety). There's a lot of consideration that goes into it. On the emotional front, one wonders, what are my motivations for getting a tattoo, and what deserves to be etched into my skin for all of eternity? Then of course, there are more practical issues to tackle, like where do I place it so that it does not impact my professional prospects, and (since we are Indians) "log kya kahenge".

I wanted a tattoo since I was a teenager tuning into Miami Inc on TV every possible chance I'd get. Kat Von D shocked and delighted me all in one go - she was the epitome of 'cool' in my book at the time. So I'd make a note of all the tattoos she'd make for her clients and do even further research on the net for unusual designs (I did not realize the logical fallacy in that till much later).

I ended up discussing these ideas with my parents. They were, as expected, not thrilled with the idea of their teenage school-going daughter getting a permanent tattoo. So they hit me with the argument that I should get to know myself better and have a few more life experiences in order to ensure that my tattoo should mean as much to me twenty years down the line as it would in the present day. Happily for them, this conversation coincided with my meeting a few kids who had gotten inked for the sake of bragging rights. That sealed the deal for me.

Eventually, when the time came, I immediately knew exactly what I had to get done - I didn't care if it was cool or cliched, I just had to go ahead with it. And getting it done was an unexpectedly poignant process. I used to think most of the dramatic reasons people shared on Miami Ink for getting tattooed were just a means to boost TRPs. But sitting there, with the needle piercing through my skin over and over again, the pain was far more emotional than it was physical.

In hindsight, my parents did me a huge favour. Now, my tattoo is a tribute I carry with me everyday, everywhere and it is an important part of me. And I've also set a pretty high benchmark for the ones to follow. The canvas awaits its next piece of art.

Meandering Thoughts: Day 4 - Tuning In

Do you ever wish we had a background score in real life? I constantly feel like our daily drudgery could be made more fun and dramatic had that been the case. I feel like it has this capability of articulating thoughts and moods even when words fail us. Music is like a time machine, transporting us to a different time, enabling us to experience emotions that are not our own and yet feel like we are one with not just the singer, but also all the others who appreciate the same piece. So many differences like era, age, culture, language, fall away with this uniting force.

Live concerts have a sort of religious fervour - complete strangers coming together like a fast flung family, eyes welling up with tears at finally having seen your musical idols live after having sung along their creations like prayers.

I've had a long-standing love affair with music. I remember, as a child, mom used to switch on a radio program with old Hindi songs at 6AM to wake us up for school and we used to dance around the house while we got ready. This resulted in me subconsciously memorising songs created several decades even before I was born. A song of the '50s would begin playing and my parents would give me looks of disbelief as I would begin singing along without even realising.

At the peak of my music craze, my favourite band were The Beatles and the more I used to listen to their songs, the more I strongly believed that they had a song for every mood and even for when you didn't even understand what you were feeling. While I'm sure not everyone would agree with this assessment, I'm also sure everyone has a song associated with a mood, a person, an event.

The rough patch I had in school is encapsulated by You're Beautiful by James Blunt and She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5 - these songs just take me back to the days when life was simpler, yet it seemed like the world was crashing down on me. Everytime the song Lahore by Guru Randhawa plays, my mind immediately goes to that one friend who used to sing the only two lines he knew from the whole song with 100% gusto and 0% skill. I See Fire by Ed Sheeran and Firestone by Kygo remind me of the time I was falling in love but I didn't know it at the time.

Try as I might, I can't imagine life without music. It seems like a basic need to me. And I'm immeasurably indebted to it for enriching and enlightening me.

Meandering Thoughts: Day 3 - Mario-ing Through Life

Our lives are almost exactly like video games.

When you start, you're just strolling around, trying to figure out the rules of the game. You try out a few things and a notification tells you if a particular action increased your score or depleted your health. Once you've figured out the do's and don't's, your pace quickens and you aim to complete the level. And what is the reward for completing it? The next level of course, with increased difficulty and new types of obstacles. You're not really sure what the end goal looks like, or what you're gaining from the overall experience. You have a rollercoaster of emotions ranging from the frustration of getting stuck on a particularly tricky obstacle to the happiness of clearing off one more level. The whole game is set up to test you more and more, even as your health gives out little by little till GAME OVER flashes on your screen. Sounds uneasily familiar, right?

As kids, the people around us serve as the notification of right and wrong. So once we figure out what gets us the carrot, and what gives us the stick, we keep trying to increase our score, or should I say respect, as we go along. All this while, the volume of that 'notification' keeps on increasing, and sometimes becomes unbearable. We pass through school, college, jobs and other degrees, marriage, kids... all the while further complicating our lives. Even after so much of social evolution, our lives are designed in such a manner that they keep becoming more and more difficult and demanding.

Of course, there is one major point of difference - there are no do-overs in life. There's no going back to the same point and fixing your mistakes or choosing a different path to change the course of the game.

So finally, my question is - what would you change about your life if you had a do-over?

Meandering Thoughts: Day 2 - Up, Up and Away

I've always found one-way flight tickets rather bittersweet. They mark the end of an era and the beginning of something new. And it doesn't matter how excited you are for the new destination and all that it is representative of.. there will always be a tinge of nervousness, a touch of sadness that finds its way through the cracks. Such journeys are like loaded question marks - what next? have I made the right decision? how will I manage without the comfort of the familiar? will the treasured relations I'm leaving behind last the test of time and distance?

But the journey of life goes on, as it should. We learn to not just cope with, but even flourish in new environs. Some of our "forevers" fade, thus making way for hitherto strangers who quickly and unexpectedly make a home in our hearts for good. Its just a gradual filtering mechanism.

That's the beauty of the human condition. We are more malleable than we give ourselves credit for - we adapt and adopt what we need to survive and thrive. This is what I try to remind myself every time I'm about to take a one-way flight to a new city, a new opportunity, or a new experience. More importantly, I know I'll regret it more if I don't make the journey. And just like that, a little bit of those fears get allayed and a tiny part of that sadness dissipates.

Meandering Thoughts: Day 1 - The Romance of Pen and Paper

There used to be a melody to writing back in those days, when writing either meant angry rants about the latest issues or simple "a-b-a-b" scheme poetry addressing teenage love. Just something about putting pen to paper and letting it flow, scratching out a few words here, tacking on a few embellishments there.

Now? Now I can't remember the last time I wrote down anything of substance, except maybe instructions from seniors in office, because otherwise, just like the rest of my attention deficit generation, I'll forget at least some part of what I was told within minutes of hearing it. What's more, it's all digital now. Either I'm typing away on my laptop or swype-ing 56 words a minute on my phone. No more is there the meticulous search for the right stationery, wondering what the right spelling of a particularly tricky word is before looking it up in the dictionary, just to be doubly sure. The romance of writing is gone.

But is it just me, or has technology really made it easier to write, but more difficult to express? Call it the arrogance of youth or perhaps just limited awareness of differing views, but I used to be more opinionated as a high schooler than I am now. Now that we have more and more information about every possible topic with no concrete way to verify the truth of the matter, I find it increasingly harder to pick sides in debates. It's not black and white like we were taught in moral science classes - it's all just grey and greyer.

PS. I quickly Googled 'greyer' in parallel to double-check if this is an actual word - some things haven't changed as much as I thought after all.

A Letter to the Dejected Spirit

Hi

You may not know me. We might never have even spoken to each other before. But I still want to reach out to you. If you think your life is full of complications without a way out, and you are devoid of the will to carry on; if you feel the only option left for you is to embrace the unknown darkness of death - PLEASE REACH OUT. To your best friend, to your mom, or to whoever you feel most connected with. And if you think that those around you won't understand or don't care enough to understand, talk to me. But please, before you take such an extreme step, just sit down and think.

You think no one cares. FALSE! There is ALWAYS at least one person who cares, whose life you have touched in more ways that you can imagine. You may not be able to see it, but you will leave behind a lot of people who will never be the same again if you decide to end your life.

You think you cannot deal with your problems. FALSE! Mind over matter, my friend. You only get what you can manage, whether you know it or not. So be the badass who can kick their problems nine ways till Sunday, because you CAN do it.

You think you have nothing left to live for. FALSE! This world is so vast and the number of different experiences one can have are so impossibly large, that even one complete lifetime is not enough for anyone to do everything, to go everywhere, to read every book, to listen to every strain of music ever created. There is ALWAYS something more you can do, something to look forward to. You just need to look in the right direction and identify it. If you keep looking at the past, you will never be able to see what might be in the future.

You think the girl/guy that left you was the love of your life and you will never be able to love again. FALSE! The very fact that they left, is proof that they were not meant to be with you for longer than they were. Give life a chance! That's the thing about time and love. There WILL be someone who, at the right time, will come along and everything will be right again. If you end your life today, you will never be able to find out.

You think its the best way to get back at your tormentors. FALSE! If this is your idea of revenge - making whoever was the cause of your sorrows feel guilty - your logic is flawed. The best revenge is to live well and to the fullest INSPITE of however they mistreated you.

You think there is no purpose to your life and you do not deserve to live. FALSE! You may not see it yet, but you've been put on this earth for a reason and it will reveal itself in due course. Just give it a chance!

So please, I implore you, I beg of you.. Reconsider. Think of your parents, brothers, sisters, friends, random acquaintances. They will go to their deathbeds wondering "Why?" and "What if?". Think of the person who would find your cold and lifeless body after you take this horrible step to fruition - that person will be scarred for life.

Reach out to someone, just shout out into the seemingly absolute darkness that seems to engulf you, and I assure you, a ray of hope will appear. Say something. Don't surrender to despair. There is a lot that life has in store for you. You need to ride out the troughs to reach the crests.

You are important. You are worth a lot. You are not a nobody. You are so loved. Even if you may not believe it, even if your faith is running out, I'll have faith for you and in you till the time you find your own. Because I've seen some really bad days too, I can say with utmost confidence that it will get better. Try to remember that?

I'm right here if you ever need a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. I do not need to know your name, or your problem, unless you choose to share. But whatever it is, however bad it you think it may be, just don't give up. There is so much left to do, to see, to feel, to know. Just stay.

Stay strong. Take care.